A Grieving Bride

At my job I have the opportunity to help brides plan their special day (at our venue), and I love it. If you would have asked me years ago that my little geeky web designing self would enjoy planning weddings, I would have told you that you were crazy. I have worked with many brides, different nationalities and different religions. I get to connect with so many of them but very rarely do I connect in such a way that it then becomes emotional/personal.

I have been working with a bride for at least six months now and we had her wedding on August 20th. Her and her fiancé had to been together for awhile now and already had two gorgeous little girls. Two months before the wedding she became extremely stressed out, but her amazing MOH was helping every way she could. These girls were super sweet and we became BFFs instantly. One night I stayed late to discuss all final details with these girls and the bride opened up to me about a few issues with some family members. I hear this often but this was different, she had lost her mom and some people just weren’t playing nice with the situation and the wedding.

I immediately teared up and thought back to my wedding day. I know not only would it be hard for her but even worse if these people were going to play with her many emotions. I already planned on being at her wedding to help but after that there was no doubt about it. I wanted to make sure her special day would go perfectly.

When the big day finally arrived, I jumped through every hoop and hurdle to help her and her wedding party to make sure everything was perfect. In return they would occasionally ask me if I needed anything. They did a little bit of decorating so I went to look around (my favorite part is the setup & decorations). I noticed that there were a set of wings on a chair and I thought they were for her daughter to walk up the aisle with (didn’t hit me until later that it would be a saved spot for her mom). On the piano they had pictures as well as a candle and a sign that said “We know you would be here today, if Heaven wasn’t so far away., a necklace and a pin that said “Mother of the Bride.” It really started to hit me. I felt for her.  I remember how sad I was and even more sad when I got my wedding pictures back and she was not in them.

That evening they were lining up to walk down our stairs for the ceremony. The bride and bridesmaids looked so beautiful! The father of the bride walked up and the bride told him that when the pastor asked “who gives this bride away” to say “Her mother and I”. Everyone began to tear up, including myself. I turned to the side so she couldn’t see me tear up, I wanted to stay strong for her. Her dad did really good and kept it together; he just smiled, took a deep breath and said “ok”.

Whether its been one year or 20 years, its the milestones and invulnerable moments when you want your mother the most. Time doesn’t heal old wounds, it just helps us deal with it. I am so glad that I was able to help her on her big day. I pray that it really was the best day of her life (I left before the reception) and that she can look back and even though she didn’t have her mom there that she remember all the fun she had. I hope memories were made.